If I'm Not Here You Will Find Me In The River

Well not really "in" the river, but over at my online magazine Kings River Life. Most of my time these days is spent there where you can find articles I've written and many other articles, short stories and more from other writers who write for KRL. Hopefully, sometime in the future you will also be able to find some new mystery short stories written by me at KRL. 

So if I've been absent for awhile come on over to the "river" and see what I've been up to! 

Things Lost

Almost a year ago now I lost my best friend for good--that friend is something no longer in my closet, yet the pain remains. For those of you out there who can relate to that kind of loss I share on this near anniversary a poem in my closet, because of a friend who no longer is. 

Empty Soul

You bind me like a witch's spell though you no longer touch me

I still feel you in my soul, though you’ve gone away.

You tore your love from me, why won’t you let me be?

You haunt my dreams, though I can no longer see your face.

There was a time you said forever

There was a time you said you loved me more than I did you.

You made me feel the love of friendship like I’d never known

It seemed so very real, but was it ever true?

Where did that love go? Why does it hold me still?

Why did you break your promise to never leave?

One mistake? I’m only human—you have made your own

Why did you leave me here, why did you leave me with an empty soul?

Pink in my closet

First off I need to clarify that I do not mean the color! I have maybe one pink piece of clothing in my entire wardrobe which I got after a friend told me it went well with black.

The Pink in my closet is the singer—whose music has been a constant companion over the last few months. I’ve been a fan for some time but over the last few months I’ve been going through a difficult emotional journey—one of my dearest friends decided to walk out of my life.  Long story, won’t bore you all with it, it’s over and done. Mistakes, misunderstandings…things we should have been able to work through, but we didn’t. Pink’s music has really been a comfort to me during this time—from the tough, party songs like “Raise Your Glass” to the beautiful acoustic version of “Glitter In The Air”. The strong songs give me strength and make me want to fight the battles of life and the more vulnerable songs touch my heart.

But the song that has touched me the most is “Who Knew”. I relate so much to those words and hearing someone else express them so well makes me feel a little less alone in this journey. If you have never heard this song, yet you have had someone you love suddenly walk out of your life, then you NEED to hear it.

And this woman is real! I saw an interview with her on Oprah last year where she made it very clear that she “really” sings on stage--she’s not Auto Tuned.  Her voice really is that incredible! In a world now of Auto Tuned singers it’s so refreshing for there to be one who is not. As a singer myself I appreciate that even more. Honestly, when a singer is Auto Tuned because they can’t sing and they are famous as a singer--well that just doesn’t seem fair to me. You shouldn’t become famous for something you really can’t do! There are far too many great singers out there that better deserve that break. I know on TV/movies sometimes it’s needed and most singers add some special effects to their voice when they record—but that’s different.  

But this wasn’t meant to be an Auto Tuning rant lol. Pink writes from the heart--she is strong and vulnerable and real. Sure she can be a little outrageous sometimes but it’s just who she is and I love it. She writes what she feels and isn’t afraid to put it out there so we the listeners can be touched by her words and music. I also love that she’s different and proud of it!

I think the entertainment world would be a little better off if there were a few more performers like her. Granted, I could do without the F bombs she drops now and then--but maybe even that is just more of her being herself and being real. In that same Oprah interview she wasn’t ashamed to admit that when she and her husband were having problems she needed to do some growing up and realize what really mattered in life.

Thanks Pink for being “in my closet” and for your music walking with me through a difficult journey! Check her out for yourself on her website.

If I Seem To Be Missing From My Closet...

Sometimes I worry that I don't post here often enough but most of my writing time and other time is now spent with my magazine, Kings River Life, which is growing by leaps and bounds and now has a mystery section called-Mysteryrat's Maze! There are mystery reviews, author interviews, short stories, book giveaways and more! So if you stop by here and see I haven't been around for awhile, take a moment and check out info about my mystery novels here, and then hop on over to KRL where you can find me every Saturday morning at 10 a.m.!

Review of Iron River & The Border Lords by T. Jefferson Parker

Since I haven't had time to post since the holidays, I decided to share a couple of mystery book reviews--not of my own, but that of a reviewer who often reviewed for me at the NoName Cafe. Enjoy! Happy Reading & Good Coffee!

Lorie Ham

Iron River by T. Jefferson Parker

Reviewed by Theodore Feit

A temporary assignment to an ATFE task force for Deputy sheriff Charlie Parker to stem the tide of illegal arms and money flowing across the U.S.-Mexican border gives rise to eerie insights into law enforcement from San Diego to Corpus Christie and, in addition, how cutthroat the drug lords can be, as well as how unscrupulous legal and illegal gun dealers are.

To begin with, a stakeout on a gun deal goes wrong, and in the shooting of a perpetrator which ensues, the son of the ruthless head of a cartel is killed, resulting in a vengeance kidnapping and torture of an AFTE operative, leading in turn to a rescue mission by Charlie and his new associates.  Then that operative is kidnapped a second time from the hospital by a rival organization, and Charlie again has to go to Mexico to ransom him and bring him back across the border, dodging the first drug lord's minions.

The title is derived from the corridor running along the southern border, from California to Texas.  Up to 90 per cent of the guns in Mexico, where about 15,000 persons have been murdered, are said to come from the United States.  This is hardly the ideal for a Good Neighbor Policy.  Mr. Parker has thoroughly researched the subject, which brings back Charlie Hood for a third and welcome appearance in a well-written and exciting novel.  Recommended.

January 2011, ISBN: 978-0-451-23242-7, Paperback, 369 pp., $14.00 


The Border Lords by T. Jefferson Parker

Reviewed by Theodore Feit

This latest Charlie Hood novel is as confusing as it is well-written and well-researched; the plot (or plots) are at once baffling and intriguing. The story draws the reader along by its sheer force right up to the end.  Many of the characters that appeared in the preceding novel in the series, “Iron River,” are present here, with Charlie, still on loan to the ATF from the Sheriff’s Department, working along the Mexican border, this time chasing narcotics kingpins but still following the trail of guns crossing both ways over the border.

It is almost impossible to briefly summarize the book.  There is Sean Ozburn, an ATF operative working undercover who goes crazily renegade after 15 months.  A friend, Charlie has to look into Oz’ behavior to find out why he no long resembles the man he used to be.  Is it the stress of working undercover that led Oz to slaughter three low-level narcotics runners in a safe house he established for a Mexican drug baron? 

The subplots, involving characters from “Iron River” like Bradley Jones and Mike Finnegan, are interspersed along the way, somehow interrelated with the main theme just to bewilder the reader, each with its own ax to grind.  One walks away from this novel with one of at least two reactions:  It is either a brilliant tour-de-force or an utterly psychedelic product of an agile mind.  Either way, it makes for an interesting read, and it is recommended.

January 2011, ISBN: 978-0-525-95200-8 Hardcover, 372 pp., $26.95

Holiday Movie Memories!

 We all have special Christmas and holiday season memories from our childhood. For me many of those memories are centered around holiday movies and TV specials, and I’m guessing I’m not alone.

When I was little, I remember every year watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on Christmas Eve. It wasn’t Christmas until I got to enjoy Rudolph’s story of misfits triumphing over hardship—though I’m sure at that age I just thought it was all cute. I love Rudolph to this day, and it frustrates me that they now play him as soon after Thanksgiving as they can manage.

Something else I remember as a small child was the Bing Crosby Christmas special—another vital part of every Christmas. After Bing died, for the longest time Christmas just didn’t feel right. This was probably my earliest introduction to the wonders of Bing Crosby and Christmas. When I was a little older I discovered White Christmas and Holiday Inn and I was in love—not only with the wonderful music, but with Bing and his partners Danny Kaye in White Christmas and Fred Astaire in Holiday Inn.

Around that time I also discovered It’s A Wonderful Life. I’m pretty sure I cried the first hundred times I saw that one.  Watching those three movies was a part of every Christmas for myself and my siblings until we all moved away. Now I only get to see them now and then as my own children have their own Christmas favorites.

When my kids were little, along with introducing them to the classics like Rudolph, Charlie Brown Christmas, and Frosty the Snowman, they enjoyed new favorites like Garfield’s Christmas (something that is still a must see for us every year), Barney’s various Christmas specials, Thomas the Tank Engine, Bob the Builder, Winnie the Pooh, Mickey’s Christmas Carol, and I’m sure there were many more. Eventually they graduated to newer holiday movies like Jingle All the Way and Elf.

Another favorite of mine, and now my children’s as well, is the classic story of A Christmas Carol. While we have enjoyed many incarnations through the years, the one that is still a must see each Christmas is Patrick Stewart’s incredible version—come on you can’t beat Captain Picard as Scrooge!

Being not only a mystery writer, but also a mystery fan, many of my Christmases have also included a couple mystery Christmas favorites such as Sherlock Holmes and the Blue Carbuncle, and Poirot’s Christmas.

I’m sure there are many others I have missed mentioning. I have so many special memories with my siblings, and later on my own children, watching all these wonders of the holiday season. The holidays still aren’t complete without getting in a few of these treasures. Sure it’s TV and movies, but I’d hazard to guess that they are a big part of most of our Christmases, and really it’s more about who you watch them with then just watching them. 

Why not share some of your favorites! Perhaps we will all discover some new holiday treasures to share with those we love!

Thanksgiving Chicken Noodle Soup

As we approach another Thanksgiving I think most of us start thinking about the wonderful food we will be enjoying that day, but I wonder how much that food varies from home to home. I know the traditional Thanksgiving consists of turkey, sweet or mashed potatoes, rolls, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie and maybe ham.

However, for many Mexican households here in the San Joaquin Valley the meal looks a bit different with tamales often being the mainstay of the meal. For my own family and its German background, we added our own touches to the traditional potatoes and turkey. Every year my Grandma Lewis would make homemade chicken noodle soup. Her day would start early making the dough for the noodles. Then it would be rolled out and cut. For most of her life, it was cut by hand with a great big dangerous looking knife. Later on, someone in the family bought her a noodle-making machine, which made it much easier.

After the noodles were cut, they would be laid out to dry. I remember Grandma smacking many a hand that tried to eat the drying noodles, especially my brother Drew—he still tries that to this day.

While the noodles dried Grandma would bake the turkey and boil the hen in the water that later would be used to cook the noodles. Finally, when it was getting close to time for the meal, the noodles would be cooked and cut again in the big kettle so they wouldn’t be too long.

At dinner, the soup would be what everyone fought over and the turkey came in second. It wasn’t until I was married that we had someone at our Thanksgiving dinner table that heaven forbid didn’t like the noodle soup! That’s when I had to start making stuffing for him, and our daughter Jessica who decided she would take after her dad.

Another Thanksgiving tradition in our home growing up was cream pies instead of pumpkin. Chocolate was the family favorite but Grandma always made a lemon and a coconut as well. Sometimes someone else in the family would bring a pumpkin pie, though my dad would never touch it. As far as he was concerned, and still is, the only pie is chocolate pie!

Until my grandma was unable to physically handle it, Thanksgiving was always at her house and I have the honor of living in that house now—a home filled with memories of a wonderful lady. It was more than just her incredible food of course, she made everything on Thanksgiving feel so perfect and homey, and it was great having all the family together and taking the time to thank God for another year.

Our Thanksgivings have changed over the years since her passing, but my sister Sheryl has taken on the mantel of making the noodles now since my mom’s health makes it difficult for her to make them anymore. After all, it just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving in the Ham/Lewis household without chicken noodle soup.

I’m sure you have your own special twists on Thanksgiving dinner as well. Why not share them here at the Closet—perhaps we will all find something new we can try this Thanksgiving dinner! And if you are preparing your first Thanksgiving dinner and could use a little advice, check out the experts on the Food Network.